Well it was never going to last, was it? The heady highs of smugness induced success….
Maintaining my fitness over Christmas and new year meant that I could get cracking right away but if there is one thing I am good at, it’s going out too fast and too hard.
“Nonsense” says I.
Let’s just say that I have learnt many lessons over the last week.
Most significant of all: don’t do hill repeats the morning after squatting correctly with weights for the first time ever.
Also probably not wise to then team two days of walking around a trade show with a half hour high cadence bike session and a 4km run around Hammersmith.
Yes. It was all going so well. The pain began as a niggle in my Piriformis (oooh err…) which, following roller work and stretches eased and then appeared 24 hours later focused in on the actual hip joint with a revolting crunch and shooting pain with every step. Marvellous. Makes a change from knees, posterior tibialis and IT Band issues then…
And now I’m back to being anxious and scared of food, while furiously googling “sore hip” and “runners hip injuries” then crying as WebMD lines up Labral Tears and bone cancer as possible diagnosis. “I’ve absolutely torn the cartilage. The crunch is definitely bone on bone” I’ll need surgery. OH GOD.
When I called PhysioDan on Wednesday, he answered the phone with “Alright Kiddo! What’s broken now?!”
I’ve become defeatist ALREADY. Which isn’t like me. I’m usually alarmingly determined. But I’ve typed “I can’t do this” so many times that I’m actually really truly starting to believe that. Which is ridiculous. Of COURSE I can do this. Of course I can. Yeah?
The need to constantly justify rest is overwhelming. Yet rest is essential and totally unavoidable. Even when you’re not injured, preparing for any endurance event should include periods of rest and recovery. We all do The Justification though. Yup. Don’t even try to argue. If you don’t chat about it on social media, to get support from others (that’s ok, by the way, we’re all here to support each other) you do it internally which is way, way worse because if you’re anything like me, the voices in your head will tell you you’re shit and useless and not cut out for this and resting is for THE WEAK and you should HTFU and train through it.
I know I’m not alone in my suffering… My Twitter feed has gone from Christmas over-indulgence guilt to training updates and injury woes followed by the inevitable rest-guilt and anxiety.
To my colleagues and buddies, I must apologise as there is only one thing more annoying than someone who is training for an event: someone who is injured and also training for an event.
“Oh I should be running tonight but my calves are just a bit too tight”
“I’d go for a swim but my shoulders been niggly and I don’t want to do any more damage”
Starting sentences with “my physio says….”
Yawn. I’ve become a BORE. I can hear myself saying all these things and it’s literally week 1 of 30.
Already, I eat, sleep and breathe triathlon. I’ve barely begun the journey that will take me to August. When I think back to this time last year, shin splints and chronic fatigue as well as general unfitness were doing everything they could to halt my marathon training. That and an almost overwhelming need to get out of every run that I could “oh look. It’s raining. Don’t want to be cold AND wet…”
Happily the days of being a Weather-Phobe are behind me. As is the unfitness and thankfully the shin-splints. I’m fitter and stronger than I was before, physically at least. I’m sure I’m mentally stronger too but that doesn’t make coping with an injury (however minor – because I realise that it could be a fucktonne more serious than a gammy hip…) any easier.
So. The plan? Doctor. Physio. Eventually strength and mobility work with Coach JP. Vanilla running (actually quite relieved. Fucking hate hills) vanilla cycling (actually quite relieved. Fucking HATE HILLS) and swimming as normal.
Not quite square one but almost.