Getting through a run by thinking about sausage sandwiches.

If you’re not a natural runner, sometimes it can be hard to push yourself through once you hit the “holyshitonastick if I run another 100 metres I’m going to die” wall. 

I think about anything other than running. Mostly food. What I’m going to eat when I get home, or what I’m going to make for dinner. Or Modern Family quotes that make me laugh. 

I’ve read plenty of running magazines that tell you to give yourself a mantra. I did. It’s this:

“cake”

I also find people watching an incredibly fun and interesting way to spend a run. Here are some of my latest observations:

1. Groups of runners:

They sprint past, puffing and panting and murmuring breathlessly about their new clean-eating regimen to boost stamina.

Nope. Thinking about cake. 

2. “Vanity runners”

You know the type. Top-to-toe in the latest running gear as recommended by the many running magazines they read. They set off with purpose, soon realising their lack of fitness is making them sweat so they slow down to a walk/jog so as not to dislodge their ponytail. They don’t go red in the face. 

3. Run Keeper/Strava/Endomondo/ Nike+ Junkies (note: this is me)

This group of individuals work under the proviso that if their chosen method of fitness tracking isn’t recording, the run didn’t happen. These people can be spotted stopping periodically to check mileage and speed and throwing hissy fits when their GPS signal isn’t strong enough to record. 

4. The “new shoes for Christmas” crowd (also me)

Shiny new Free-runs not yet covered in leaves. Crisp, clean, flouro running trousers sans mud splatters. Still-white running socks. 

They look like amateurs, but don’t try to overtake. They just use Christmas/Birthdays as an opportunity to re-stock their running kit. They are not to be mistaken for vanity runners. 

 

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